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Four Hundred Cartons of Undeclared Cigarettes and a Niblingo
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Season 7:
Season 6:
22.A Tornado, a 10-Hour Flight and a Darn Fine Ring21.A Romantic Getaway and a Germanic Meat-Based Diet20.German for Beginners and a Crazy Old Man with a Bat19.A New Weather Girl and a Stay-at-Home Coddler18.Little Green Men and a Fella's Marriage Proposal17.A German Folk Song and an Actual Adult16.A Stolen Truck and Going on the Lam15.Teen Angst and a Smart-Boy Walk of Shame14.A Launch Party and a Whole Human Being13.A Frat Party, a Sleepover and the Mother of All Blisters12.A Baby Shower and a Testosterone-Rich Banter11.Ruthless, Toothless and a Week of Bed Rest10.Pancake Sunday and Textbook Flirting9.College Dropouts and the Medford Miracle8.Legalese and a Whole Hoo-Ha7.A Tougher Nut and a Note on File6.An Ugly Car, an Affair and Some Kickass Football5.A Resident Advisor and the Word 'Sketchy'4.Blonde Ambition and the Concept of Zero3.Passion's Harvest and a Sheldocracy2.Future Worf and the Margarita of the South Pacific1.Four Hundred Cartons of Undeclared Cigarettes and a Niblingo
Season 5:
22.A Clogged Pore, a Little Spanish, and the Future season finale21.White Trash, Holy Rollers, and Punching People20.Uncle Sheldon and a Hormonal Firecracker19.A God-Fearin' Baptist and a Hot Trophy Husband18.Babies, Lies, and a Resplendent Cannoli17.A Solo Peanut, a Social Butterfly, and the Truth16.A Suitcase Full of Cash and a Yellow Clown Car15.A Lobster, an Armadillo, and a Way Bigger Number14.A Free Scratcher and Feminine Wiles13.A Lot of Band-Aids and the Cooper Surrender12.A Pink Cadillac and a Glorious Tribal Dance11.A Lock-In, a Weather Girl, and a Disgusting Habit10.An Expensive Glitch and a Goof-Off Room9.The Yips and an Oddly Hypnotic Bohemian8.The Grand Chancellor and a Den of Sin7.An Introduction to Engineering and a Glob of Hair Gel6.Money Laundering and a Cascade of Hormones5.Stuffed Animals and a Sweet Southern Syzygy4.Pish Posh and a Secret Back Room3.Potential Energy and Hooch on a Park Bench2.Snoopin' Around and the Wonder Twins of Atheism1.One Bad Night and Chaos of Selfish Desires
Season 4:
18.The Wild and Woolly World of Nonlinear Dynamics17.A Black Hole16.A Second Prodigy and the Hottest Tips for Pouty Lips15.A Virus, Heartbreak and a World of Possibilities14.Mitch's Son and the Unconditional Approval of a Government Agency13.The Geezer Bus and a New Model for Education12.A Box of Treasure and the Meemaw of Science11.A Pager, a Club and a Cranky Bag of Wrinkles10.Cowboy Aerobics and 473 Grease-Free Bolts9.Crappy Frozen Ice Cream and an Organ Grinder's Monkey8.An Existential Crisis and a Bear That Makes Bubbles7.A Philosophy Class and Worms That Can Chase You6.Freshman Orientation and the Inventor of the Zipper5.A Musty Crypt and a Stick to Pee On4.Bible Camp and a Chariot of Love3.Training Wheels and an Unleashed Chicken2.A Docent, a Little Lady and a Bouncer Named Dalton1.Graduation
Season 3:
21.A Secret Letter and a Lowly Disc of Processed Meat20.A Baby Tooth and the Egyptian God of Knowledge19.A House for Sale and Serious Woman Stuff18.A Couple Bruised Ribs and a Cereal Box Ghost Detector17.An Academic Crime and a More Romantic Taco Bell16.Pasadena15.A Boyfriend's Ex-Wife and a Good Luck Head Rub14.A Slump, a Cross and Roadside Gravel13.Contracts, Rules and a Little Bit of Pig Brains12.Body Glitter and a Mall Safety Kit11.A Live Chicken, a Fried Chicken and Holy Matrimony10.Teenager Soup and a Little Ball of Fib9.A Party Invitation, Football Grapes and an Earth Chicken8.The Sin of Greed and a Chimichanga from Chi-chi's7.Pongo Pygmaeus and a Culture that Encourages Spitting6.A Parasol and a Hell of an Arm5.A Pineapple and the Bosom of Male Friendship4.Hobbitses, Physicses and a Ball with Zip3.An Entrepreneurialist and a Swat on the Bottom2.A Broom Closet and Satan's Monopoly Board1.Quirky Eggheads and Texas Snow Globes
Season 2:
22.A Swedish Science Thing and the Equation for Toast21.A Broken Heart and a Crock Monster20.A Proposal and a Popsicle Stick Cross19.A Political Campaign and a Candy Land Cheater18.A Perfect Score and a Bunsen Burner Marshmallow17.Albert Einstein and the Story of Another Mary16.A Loaf of Bread and a Grand Old Flag15.A Math Emergency and Perky Palms14.David, Goliath, and a Yoo-hoo from the Back13.A Nuclear Reactor and a Boy Called Lovey12.A Tummy Ache and a Whale of a Metaphor11.A Race of Superhumans and a Letter to Alf10.A Stunted Childhood and a Can of Fancy Mixed Nuts9.Family Dynamics and a Red Fiero8.An 8-Bit Princess and a Flat Tire Genius7.Carbon Dating and a Stuffed Raccoon6.Seven Deadly Sins and a Small Carl Sagan5.A Research Study and Czechoslovakian Wedding Pastries4.A Financial Secret and Fish Sauce3.A Crisis of Faith and Octopus Aliens2.A Rival Prodigy and Sir Isaac Neutron1.A High-Pitched Buzz and Training Wheels
Season 1:
22.Vanilla Ice Cream, Gentleman Callers, and a Dinette Set21.Summer Sausage, a Pocket Poncho, and Tony Danza20.A Dog, a Squirrel, and a Fish Named Fish19.Gluons, Guacamole, and the Color Purple18.A Mother, a Child and a Blue Man's Backside17.Jiu-Jitsu, Bubble Wrap, and Yoo-hoo16.Killer Asteroids, Oklahoma, and a Frizzy Hair Machine15.Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman14.Potato Salad, a Broomstick, and Dad's Whiskey13.A Sneeze, Detention and Sissy Spacek12.A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer11.Demons, Sunday School, and Prime Numbers10.An Eagle Feather, a String Bean, and an Eskimo9.Spock, Kirk, and Testicular Hernia8.Cape Canaveral, Schrödinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair7.A Brisket, Voodoo, and Cannonball Run6.A Patch, a Modem, and a Zantac®5.A Solar Calculator, a Game Ball, and a Cheerleader's Bosom4.A Therapist, a Comic Book, and a Breakfast Sausage3.Poker, Faith, and Eggs2.Rockets, Communists, and the Dewey Decimal System1.Pilot
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